Bus Blues

It's funny, the only place on earth where you can be claustroaphobically close to someone and for it to still be acceptable - all the while whilst having their breath literally breathing down your neck - is the bus.
No matter what time of the day it is, no matter how full the bus it is, there will always be people getting on the bus and people getting on the bus. When it becomes exceptionally crowded, you find yourself squeezing up the aisle next to someone who you've never met, but are close enough to in terms of millimetres for people to assume you know them very, very well!
You give up seats for other people on the bus, without so much as word, just a polite nod of the head, whilst you scooch your weary body off the uncomfortable seat and try to find somewhere to fit your bag.
Yes, it is an unexplainable rule of buses, you can get close to a stranger but you can never talk to them - its like when you were a child and you were told by your mother "don't talk to strangers". Except your mother probably told you never to go anywhere with the stranger either and, if they did come near, you were to kick up a mighty stink and kick them where it hurts.
So anyway, the rule of the bus is to not talk, yet I have seen this rule broken twice in a matter of weeks, to the huge surprise of the crowded bus. The first instance was a crowded single decker bus travelling through a sleepy village at 7.30 in the morning. Everything was going fine, when suddenly out of the blue, a man with a voice like a foghorn asks "Does anyone mind if I open a window?"
You could've heard a pin drop on the bus, what was he doing?? A few shocked people shook their heads dimly and a couple brave ones sounded the work "No" aloud.
A few days later the rule was broken again. When again someone with a voice like a foghorn got on the bus, this time it was a women. She got on at the same time as the posh au pair and the snotty blonde child. Foghorn woman scanned the bus for an available seats and, realising there were none, promptly came out with this smart reply "There is a small child here without a seat". Once again nobody said anything, there was quick shuffling of bums of seats and the moving of heavy bags to the side, and the snotty blonde child was seated with her posh au pair standing like a guard at her side. Foghorn woman obviously thought she had done her deed for the day, as she looked very smug. I swear if any more children had got on the bus she would have sounded out her foghorn once again.
So then we had to put up with SB Child sounding out simle things all through the journey "I can draw a figure of 8" e.c.t, e.c.t.
So, if you want to take anything away from this, let it be "Do not speak to starngers on the bus, but if a child happens to get on the bus or a man looks like he is persiring heavily quickly vacate your seat and open a window - all silence will remain... Mostly"